The First Step – The Scariest and Most Important Step

The first step is always the scariest. It’s also the hardest – the one we naturally tend to avoid.

It’s the step that changes the status quo we already know. Even if the current situation isn’t ideal, there’s comfort in the familiar. It’s difficult to predict how change will affect the future, which is why we often stay in the familiar – even when it’s far from perfect.

"Beginner’s Climb", oil pastel on paper.

For me, the first step toward change was simple: acknowledging that I needed change. Because before you can solve a problem, you first have to recognize that it exists. It sounds straightforward, but there are a few things worth understanding along the way:

Our brain is smart – sometimes a little too smart

Our brain is designed to help us survive. Sometimes that means ignoring things that trigger anxiety, so we can keep functioning day to day. Certain issues tend to fall into a “dark corner”… luckily, we have a flashlight to bring them into the light.

Our mind plays tricks too. When something feels too big or too frightening, it activates defense mechanisms like repression or denial. Sometimes these mechanisms help us keep going in life; other times, they prevent us from addressing our problems and taking care of ourselves.

Our environment matters – for better or worse

A supportive and understanding environment can make this process easier, but not everyone has that privilege. Sometimes, the people around us prefer to maintain the status quo. Change can seem threatening, uncomfortable, or simply unfamiliar. They might unconsciously block it, saying, “Everything’s fine,” and keeping things as they are.

So what can you do?

First of all – just being here already says something important: you feel that there’s something to address. Even if it’s not clear or defined, you recognize that something inside needs attention.

Sometimes it shows up as questions:

• Why did I go to a place I didn’t enjoy?

• Why did I eat when I wasn’t hungry?

• Why am I in a relationship with someone I don’t really connect with?

• Why did that movie affect me so deeply?

• Why do I struggle to fall asleep at night?

These might seem like small or insignificant questions, but they keep coming back. They’re the mind and heart’s way of saying, “Something here needs attention.”

And when there are no questions?

Then the body speaks. The signals can appear in many ways: an uncontrollable craving for sweets, difficulty sleeping, anxiety, or even recurring illness. Our body, a smart system, sends messages when something internal is unaddressed.

The first step doesn’t have to be perfect

If you’re reading this, something is rising in you right now. Maybe it’s not clear, maybe it’s not defined – and that’s okay. The first step doesn’t require a full definition or huge commitment, just the recognition that there is “something.”

Defining that “something” can feel scary, complex, or overwhelming – and you don’t have to do it alone. In therapy, in a safe and nonjudgmental space, it’s possible to start looking inward, slowly and securely.

And greetings from Georgia! :)